Taking Innocence
by Allen92909
Summary: Detective Marty Deeks gets sent undercover with the LAPD and it's a case that will haunt him for the rest of his life. For this case, he'll become someone he's never had to become before.
1. Chapter 1

Detective Marty Deeks gets sent undercover with the LAPD and it's a case that will haunt him for the rest of his life. For this case, he'll become someone he's never had to become before. This started as a one shot, but when I started getting up to 15 pages, I decided to make it chapters. I hope to post every few days, but that all depends on if and when I can get a break from chasing my toddler around.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 1

The shaggy haired detective pulled his hood over his head as the rain starting soaking into his clothes. He walked through the dark alley, lightening the only thing leading his way as it flashed every other minute. It had been a while since Los Angeles had a storm so ferocious, but the rain was much welcomed in the midst of a drought the city had been in all summer.

Detective Marty Deeks was in dire need of a drink, something to take away the anguish and terror of his latest undercover case for the LAPD. He knew from the beginning that this would be a case that would stick with him forever, something that would always haunt him as the years went on. He found his way to a neon sign in the alley and stumbled into the back entrance of a local bar, ordering whatever beer was on tap.

Deeks had been undercover with a man suspected of operating a kiddie porn operation. His name was Richard Pierson, a husband and father of two, who was a prominent volunteer in many community organizations and who worked on the board of education. His family was the picture perfect family, but as Deeks came to know over the last couple of months, they were far from picture perfect.

Deeks was undercover as Danny Briggs, an ex con who was volunteering at one of the same organizations that Richard volunteered for. He was doing community service after serving a year in prison for a drug charge. Through the organization, he was able to get close to Richard and one night, Richard had invited him out to drinks.

Drinks soon blossomed into a friendship and Deeks, or Danny, began to open up to Richard, telling him that he had done drugs because it helped to ease his sexual tension and frustration. Richard wasn't sure what he meant, so he had elaborated, telling him that he had a strong pull towards children. He knew it was wrong to like children, to feel attracted to them sexually, but he couldn't stop the feelings he had and that's why he started using drugs. It eased everything and helped him fight his attraction. That's when their friendship seemed to change.

Richard began inviting Danny over to his house for BBQ's and to watch football games and watched to see how he interacted around his kids. Deeks couldn't imagine lusting over a child, but that's what his cover called for. He had to lust over Richard's kids.

Deeks could handle being a junkie, a homeless man, a womanizer...but Danny was basically a closet pedophile and that was something he wasn't sure he could handle.

As time went on, he began to notice that Richard seemed to favor his daughter, Eleanor. She was eleven and blossoming early, as her body started to change. She had flowing blonde hair and deep brown eyes. Richard gave her a lot of affection and he touched her in ways that Deeks thought was inappropriate for a father. Of course, he never voiced his thoughts. He had to pretend to like it and even partake in some inappropriate touching himself.

Richard's son, James, was seven years old and no matter what he did, it never seemed good enough for his father. Deeks witnessed Richard yelling at his son several times and even hitting him. Those moments always brought him back to his own childhood and the abuse he took from his father. It took a lot for him not to lash out at Richard for what he was doing to that poor boy, but saving Richard's kids from him was not the case. The case was to bring down Richard and his operation.

Richard's wife, Deana, was a sweet woman, but she was also very submissive. She had a sadness in her eyes, but she always wore a mask to hide it and she always forced a smile. She was the perfect housewife. She did whatever Richard asked of her without question and always had dinner on the table by 5PM. Deeks was amazed at how she could keep a house spotless, despite having two children in it.

One day when Deeks had been over, Richard asked him if he was looking to make a little extra money. He said he had a little side job that he was looking to recruit new talent for. Then he had asked Deeks if he had ever been on camera. Deeks had said he was always looking for extra money and that he hadn't been on camera before. Richard told him that he had the face of an angel and could help make his little side job pull in a lot of extra money and that he could get in on a good cut of it. He didn't explain that day what the job was, but today, he had a pretty good idea as to what the job was.

Today, Deeks was a part of something he never wanted to experience ever again. Today, he left Richard's wishing he could crawl in a hole and whither away for not being able to stop what was happening. Today, he was a pedophile, a monster.

At Richard's earlier that afternoon, Deeks had gone down to the basement with Richard and Eleanor. It was set up like a sex dungeon. There was an old couch on one wall and a bed on the other with handcuffs on either side of the headboard. There was a table with sex toys on it and other various items. After taking in his surroundings, he knew right away that the basement wasn't Richard's base of operation. There was no camera equipment. No, the basement was for his personal use, or so he assumed.

He told Deeks to have a seat on the couch, so he sat and wondered what was coming next. Richard looked at his daughter and told her to go and sit on his lap. She went over to him and sat. He then instructed her to do to Deeks what she usually did to him, the thing that always made him feel better after a hard day.

Deeks instinctively jerked his body away from her when he felt her tugging on his belt. Inside, a panic came over him. She had pulled the belt loose and was slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He tried to breath slowly and control himself. While he could only assume what she was about to do, and each assumption was only worse than the next, he knew that he couldn't stop her. His instinct was to put an end to this, beat her Dad to a pulp, and save her and her brother. Unfortunately, he wasn't Deeks today, he was Danny Briggs...closet pedophile and Danny Briggs would not mind what was about to happen at all. He'd been fighting his lust for children for a long time and this would be a dream come true for Danny.

Eleanor had reached her hands into his boxers. He felt her little fingers and knew exactly what was happening. He looked her in the eyes, not seeing any emotion in them. She was almost like a robot, doing a task she had done many times before. "It's ok, I do this for lots of Daddy's friends." She had said to him. Because he was Danny, he had to pretend to like it.

When she was done, Richard had said that the two of them seemed to be very comfortable with each other and that that was the last thing he needed to see before officially offering a job to him. The two of them would be working very closely together. He gave Deeks an address and told him to meet him there the next day to start work.

When Deeks had left Richard's, he had called Bates and told him what had happened, what the little girl had to do to him. He had wanted Bates to send someone in to pull the kids from the home, but Bates wouldn't do anything. He had only told him to focus on the overall mission. So, Deeks gave him the address Richard had given him and told the LAPD to be on standby to raid the building once they were all inside.

Now Deeks sat in the bar, drinking the day away. He felt so dirty and gross. He felt like he should have been able to do something, to help Eleanor and James, but he couldn't risk blowing his cover when he was so close to stopping Richard and putting an end to his kiddie porn ring.

He wished like hell that he could talk to Kensi. She always had a way of making him feel better. Now that they were a couple, it made it harder to be away from one another, though technically, he wasn't all that far away from her. He was only across town. It was best that they didn't risk calling or texting though. He pictured her face and her smile and somehow that helped just a little bit. He was dreading what the next day would bring.

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize for any typos. I did proof read, but I know I'm not perfect. Please review and let me know you're thoughts. Thanks!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

The last scene with Eleanor in the first chapter was actually written with more detail, but after reading the guidelines to post here, I had to altar it a bit. I know this is dark subject matter, but I had to assume that at some point in his career, this would be a case that Deeks would have deal with as a detective. Only one review so far, but I'm not letting that deter me.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. We also get into some violent torture in the coming chapters.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 2

After a restless night of sleep, Deeks showered, dressed, and headed out the door of his cover's apartment. The ground outside was still damp from the storm the day before. As he approached his cover's beat up old Honda, he saw a familiar man leaning against the passenger side.

"Hey there, Danny." Richard greeted him with a smile on his face.

Deeks looked at him confused. "I thought I was meeting you at..."

Richard cut him off. "No, no." He shook his head. "I couldn't risk giving out the actual address of my little operation. I thought I'd take you in myself."

Deeks, playing his character, lashed out. "So after all this time you don't trust me? You little fucker. I thought we were good man." He said.

Richard smiled. "We are good, that's why I'm trusting you with my daughter. Some of the other guys have been too rough with her, treating her like scum, but I know you'll treat her right and make things as pleasant as possible for her while we're filming." He unlocked his Mercedes and motioned for Deeks to join him.

"Look, I'd really feel comfortable bringing my own car." He replied.

"Well, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that." Richard shot back, giving him a stern glare. "I'm giving you an amazing opportunity here. You finally get to live out your sexual fantasies and you'll get paid to live them out. You and Eleanor are going to bring in a lot of subscriptions and money. It's win win for both of us." Speaking sternly he said, "Now get in the car."

Deeks knew that he didn't have a choice. He had to go with Richard. He had no way to inform the LAPD though. They would be set up outside the address he had given them as planned. He felt for his phone in his pocket as he sat in Richard's car. He glanced at Richard, who seemed to be watching him closely. There was no way he could call LAPD or even text Bates to let him know that there was a change of plans.

As Richard drove, Deeks made a mental note of each turn, each street. He recognized the area Richard had driven them to. It used to be a large auto park, with several different car dealerships. As the times had changed and the surrounding neighborhood had changed, the dealerships had all either closed or relocated. His father had actually worked at one of the dealers as a mechanic briefly, during one of his sober periods.

Richard pulled into the lot of one of the old buildings and parked in an attached auto garage. Most of the windows of the showroom had been boarded up from the outside, so there was little natural light inside the building. Deeks was led past a large office that looked to have been two offices at one point. It was filled with computers and servers and had a techie at one desk who didn't look all too different from Eric. The only difference between this techie and Eric was that he wore a pair of actual pants instead of the usual cargo shorts that Eric preferred.

"This is where our product reaches our subscribers. Dave there, makes it all happen." Richard explained. "We've got a full network setup that's untraceable, something about the IP address rerouting every so often and such. I'm not going to pretend to know how it all works."

The showroom was where it all happened though. Deeks followed Richard in and saw it set up with a couple different filming sets, each with several different sets of chains in them to secure the main focus of the videos on various items and in various poses. Along one wall away from the sets, there was a table with props and tools on it. Richard had a full camera system set up with a sound system as well.

In the center set, Eleanor was chained to a twin bed naked. Her brother was behind her in a metal cage that hung from the ceiling. He too was naked. Deeks could make out the bruises that covered his body, giving a clear idea as to the extent of abuse he had been experiencing in his young life.

Deeks mustered all his strength just to keep himself together. Seeing the kids like that infuriated him, but he couldn't afford to snap now. He had to get through this so that hopefully, he could help these kids and get Richard behind bars.

A man walked up to Eleanor with a needle and Deeks watched him inject her in the arm with it. She winced a little when the needle punctured her skin, but a few moments later, she went limp and looked dazed.

"Some days we have a few other kids here, but I thought we should just take things slow since it's your first day and all." Richard said to him. "You and Eleanor seemed to take a liking to each other anyways." Richard walked over to the table where the props and tools were on it. He grabbed a strange metal device. It reminded Deeks of the device that Sidorov had used to force his mouth open as he drilled into his teeth and gums and he shuddered when those memories came back to him. "I'd like to get some video of you cumming in her mouth, if that's possible. This device will force her mouth open so you can get it in easier. Plus, it keeps her from biting...unless you don't mind the biting."

The man had a vile smile on his face as he spoke and it almost nauseated Deeks. He mentally repeated to himself, _"You are Danny Briggs, you are Danny Briggs, you are Danny Briggs."_ He forced a mischievous grin. "Yeah I'd like that, but first I, I uh...I need a minute to prepare myself. I've never done this before. I mean, I've thought about it a lot, but never thought I'd be able to actually fulfill this fantasy of mine, you know?"

"Ah yes, of course." Richard pointed to a doorway on the right side of the showroom. "There's a bathroom down that way. Go and get yourself prepared. You can leave your clothes and things on the table in the bathroom."

"Thanks." Deeks headed off towards the bathroom, knowing full well that he couldn't take his clothes off and walk back out there. He remembered his phone in his pocket as he stepped into the men's room, pulling it out quickly. He dialed Bates' number and got no answer. It seemed that Bates was always MIA when he needed the man the most. He dialed again, this time planning to leave a detailed message of his whereabouts, but he was interrupted.

"Hey, who you callin'?" Richard's henchman asked.

Deeks panicked and hit the end button on his call. "Just checking my voicemail." He lied.

"Rich..." The man started to call for Richard when Deeks sucker punched him and pulled him into a headlock, squeezing his arm around his neck tighter and tighter.

The man fought Deeks and managed to elbow him in the gut. He was forced back and winded for a few seconds. The man then turned and charged him, forcing him against the wall. His phone flew from his hand, crashing on the floor. Deeks managed to free himself and went for his phone, which luckily had not broken when it hit the floor. As fast as he could, he typed in his agent in distress call to ops over at the Mission. If Bates wouldn't answer, surely Eric would see his signal and send the team after him.

The man charged him again, tackling him against the floor. Before he could react again, he felt a quick prick in his neck and saw the man pulling a needle away. His eyes started getting heavy and his vision blurred. Only a moment later, he was limp and could barely focus. His breathing labored and he was oblivious to the voices around him.

"What happened in here, Goose?" Richard asked from the doorway.

"He was callin' somebody." Goose answered. He hated the nickname, but didn't think it was the right time to argue with his boss about it. He tossed the phone up to Richard.

Richard checked the last call on the phone. "It says here he was calling his Dad." Why on Earth would he be calling his father at a time like this?

Dave, Richard's techie walked up behind him. "Hey boss?"

Richard turned, facing him. "What is it?" He snarled, clearly upset with this new turn of events.

"I finally finished running the full background check on Danny that you asked for yesterday." He replied. "It looks like he only exists on paper."

Richard turned back to Goose. "Chain him up in one of the sets. I want to question him." He turned back to Dave and listened as he explained what he found upon running the background check.

Everything looked legit on paper for Danny, but there was no history for Danny and after digging further into his prison time, the whole story for Danny fell apart. "I think he might be a cop." Dave said before getting back to his office.

* * *

><p>Eric sat in ops checking the background of a perp that the team was looking into when a monitor popped up and beeped on his computer. He knew it instantly as an agent in distress signal, but it was from a number he was unfamiliar with. Immediately, he called Hetty and the team up to ops.<p>

"What is it Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked. She stood in front of her line of agents, wondering if there was some new information in regards to their current case.

"I just got an agent in distress signal from an unfamiliar number." He replied, pulling the number up on the big screen.

Kensi instantly recognized the number. "That's Deeks." She shot out quickly. When everyone gave her a questioning look, she added in "He gave me the number of his cover's burn phone in case I had any emergencies and needed to contact him."

"But why would he contact us? Shouldn't he contact Bates?" Sam asked.

"Do we even know what they've got him working on?" Callen also asked, looking at Hetty for a possible answer.

Hetty shook her head in dismay. "Unfortunately, LAPD is never very forthcoming in the details pertaining to their cases. I'm not sure what our Mr. Deeks has been tasked with. I can only assume that since he is hailing us, perhaps he could not get in touch with Lieutenant Bates."

"I just did a trace on the phone's last known location and it was just outside the old auto park in Palmdale." Eric informed them.

Hetty turned to her team. "I'll see if I can get in touch with Bates. In the meantime, get a team ready. We may have to save Mr. Deeks ourselves." She said.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be great. I'll try and post another chapter in a few days. Thanks for reading!<br>**


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews. They have definitely been motivating. This chapter is kind of short, but I had trouble trying to decide where to cut it off for the next chapter.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. This chapter and the next few deal with torture.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 3

The fog and haze slowly lifted from Deeks' mind. His vision was clearing, so he lifted his head to take in his surroundings. He immediately realized that he was in one of the film sets in the showroom. He tried to move, but he was strapped to a chair...each ankle strapped tightly to the front legs of the chair and each wrist strapped tightly to the arms of the chair.

Richard approached him slowly. He dropped Deeks' phone on the ground and stepped on it as he walked, crushing it. "It seems we have a traitor in our midst." He said.

Deeks swallowed hard before replying. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man."

"Are you a cop? Or maybe you're a fed?" Richard snarled at him.

He shook his head quickly. "No, man. I'm not a cop." Deeks furrowed his brow at Richard. "You really think I'd try to pull one over on you? I mean, we've been friends for months now. I wouldn't do you like that, Richard."

Richard let out a soft chuckle. "Do you honestly think I believe that you've really been my friend all these months? According to Dave, Danny Briggs only exists on paper." He walked over to the table on the far wall. "Tell me, what is your real name?"

Deeks tried to keep calm. He couldn't give himself away now. "Danny, Danny Briggs." He said confidently.

Richard reached for a tool on the table. It was long and thin. He held it out to Deeks. "Do you know what this is?" He asked. It looked like a cattle prod, but Deeks didn't answer. "It's a cattle prod that has been made specifically for human torture instead of cattle."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Deeks shot back.

"It's actually quite painful when it's placed over the correct muscles." Richard smiled, as he hit the button on the prod, sending the electrical current between the two points at the end. "Now, you're real name?"

"Fuck you, man." Deeks replied.

"As you wish." Richard said. He walked over to Deeks and inched the prod close to his upper abdomen. Deeks gripped the arms of the chair tight as it connected with his skin, sending electrical current through his abdomen. His muscles convulsed painfully for several long seconds as he screamed out. The prod was pulled back and his head slumped into his chest as he panted hard, trying to catch his breath. "Care to give me your name now?"

Deeks lifted his head slowly. "Danny, Danny Briggs." He spat out. The prod connected with his body again, this time with his quad muscles on his left leg. It jerked uncontrollably as the current surged through it for several seconds and he screamed out.

"Who are you working for?" Richard demanded.

"You, asshole." Deeks replied, with one his cheeky grins.

"Damn it." Richard clearly wasn't happy with Deeks and his smart mouth. He motioned to Goose and Goose stepped forward, lodging punch after punch into Deeks stomach and chest. Deeks screamed out and when it was all said and done, he was in a coughing fit. He felt like a rib had been snapped in two and it hurt when he tried to take in a deep breath.

"Who are you working for?" Richard asked again.

"You." Deeks replied back softly, trying to save his energy. Richard brought the prod to his body again, jamming it into his pectoral muscles, causing them to convulse as he struggled to keep his breathing even.

"You fucking idiot." Richard was more than annoyed. "Just answer my questions."

"Go to hell, man." Deeks replied.

"Eleanor?" Richard called out to his daughter. She was no longer restrained and came out from a backroom wearing nothing but a silk robe.

"Yes, Daddy?" She asked.

"Come here, I want you to do this." He held out the prod to her. "He's been a bad man and you know what we do to those that are bad."

Eleanor glanced over to her brother, who was still naked in the cage on the other set. "We punish them." She answered. Her brother was always being bad, or so her Daddy always claimed.

"All you have to do is touch this to his body. You can touch whatever parts you want." Richard explained.

Deeks made eye contact with the young girl. "You don't have to do this, Eleanor." He pleaded.

"It's ok, baby. Go ahead." Richard encouraged her.

She pulled herself from Deeks' gaze and eyed her father, who had a devilish smile on his face. She wanted to make him happy, so she connected the prod with Deeks stomach and held it in place for what seemed like an eternity.

Deeks' body convulsed against the chair violently until Richard pulled her arm back. "That's long enough, baby."

"But you said he was bad." Eleanor replied. She connected the prod with his body again, this time she aimed for his penis.

For the first few seconds, it almost felt stimulating, but the longer she held it in place, the more he could feel other muscles around his penis tightening and relaxing over and over and then, his bladder muscles gave way and he could feel his warm urine soaking into his underwear.

Richard finally pulled her arm back again. "Oh, Eleanor, you make me so proud." He smiled and took the prod from her.

Deeks was panting and trying hard to catch his breath. His muscles ached and only got worse as Richard continued asking him over and over what his name was and who he was working for, getting no answers that pleased him. He had worked over Deeks muscles from top to bottom over and over. His body muscles had reached a point in which they were now slowly and faintly constricting on their own. He wondered if this is how Sam had felt when Sidorov tortured him.

"I see this form of torture is getting us no where. Let me see what else I can come up with." Richard said with a grin.

* * *

><p>Hetty sat in her office with Bates on the phone. "Do you want to tell me why our liaison officer had to use his agent in distress signal when he is supposed to be on an LAPD case?" She asked him, a slight tone of annoyance in her voice.<p>

Bates and SWAT had waited for Deeks for over two hours at the location they had been given before deciding to head back to the station, realizing he nor anyone else would be coming. "I noticed a call from him. He didn't leave a message, so I wasn't sure if it was important or not, but when he didn't show up at the address he gave us, I knew it was serious." He sighed. "Clearly, something happened and we've been trying to get in contact with him all morning now. I'm waiting on the tech lab to get a trace on his phone."

"Well my team was able to trace the phone that he signaled with and they're getting ready for a rescue mission." Hetty explained.

"No, I don't want your team getting involved." Bates replied sternly.

"I believe it's too late for that." Hetty said. "My team has already been involved. We will meet and form a plan to get our liaison back safely."

Another hour later and the team, along with Bates and SWAT, had come up with a plan to scope out the old auto park and get Deeks back.

**Can they get Deeks back? We'll find out in the next chapter. Reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews. Here we continue from where we left off. Deeks is still being tortured. Let's hope the team can save him.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. This chapter and the next few deal with torture.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 4

Richard moved behind Deeks and pulled his head back forcefully. Goose approached him with a thick plastic pipe in hand. He forced his mouth open, shoving the pipe in hard. He choked for a moment as the pipe hit the back of his throat. Goose wrapped tape around it and secured the tape to either side of his mouth, keeping it in place.

Goose then walked over to the table, grabbing something that was made out of leather. Deeks couldn't tell what it was until the man got closer to him and started pulling it over his face. There was a hole in it, which he placed over the pipe before securing the rest of the leather over his whole face. It conformed tightly as he pulled it around his head and secured it in the back.

Deeks started breathing hard and fast, terrified of what was to come. His eyes were covered and he couldn't see anything. The tight leather was starting to make him feel claustrophobic.

Richard continued holding his head back. "Maybe this will make you talk." He said in a devilish tone. He motioned to Goose, who had lifted a watering can to the pipe. He tilted the can and water filled into the pipe, causing Deeks to choke as his body struggled in his restraints.

Several moments later, the water stopped and Richard forced his head forward, letting the excess water slide out of the pipe to the floor.

The process was repeated several times until Deeks' body went limp. Too much water had filled his lungs and he had stopped breathing. The mask and pipe were quickly removed. The chair was laid back on the ground so Deeks was lying on his back. Goose began CPR and it only took moments for Deeks to spit up water and start breathing again. His eyes opened slowly as he tried to focus. His body ached everywhere and he could barely breath.

"Who are you working for?" Richard asked.

Deeks struggled to answer, but kept it the same as before. "You."

Lashing out in anger, Richard's foot quickly met with his face and blood gushed from his nose as the pain caused dark spots in his vision. He wanted to give into the Darkness, but his chair was quickly yanked upright by Goose.

"Put the mask back on." Richard ordered of Goose.

Goose did as was told and this time Deeks was glad to not have the pipe in his mouth. Richard went for some rope and a concrete block that had a hook drilled into it. Deeks didn't realize there was a metal ring on the back of the mask, as his head was quickly pulled back and the rope was secured to it. Richard lifted the block and Goose tied the rope to the hook on it.

Richard let go of the block quickly and Deeks head was forced back even further, putting much more strain on his neck muscles and throat and causing him to have even more trouble breathing. "I said, who are you working for?" Richard demanded again.

"You." Deeks replied in between struggled breaths.

Richard had his prod again, forcing it into Deeks' stomach and watching in glee as his body struggled violently. He pulled it away. "What is your name?"

"Dan...Danny."Deeks managed to answer.

The prod connected again with his body. This time Richard held it longer as his captive struggled more and more.

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><p>"The building on the North side is the only one we can get good access to with our vehicles." Callen said into his com link as they were driving towards the auto park. "We'll see if we can access the rear garage and set up shop. We can fan out from there and secure the whole area."<p>

Bates, who was riding with Callen, asked, "How do you know he's not in that building?"

"Eric said the GPS signal was on the East side of the park." He replied as he pulled up behind a building. Placing the car in park, he got out, grabbed a set of bolt cutters from the back of the car, and walked to one of the rear garage doors. He cut the locks off the chains that kept the door secure and opened it. He walked back to the car and drove in. He spoke in the coms, letting the rest of the team know that they could come in. SWAT would be waiting just outside of the auto park, since they couldn't risk too many vehicles driving in and being spotted.

After meeting in the garage and going over the plan again, Kensi made it to the East side of the park and found her way to the roof of a building adjacent to the one they suspected Deeks to be in. She set up her rifle and focused the scope, aiming for the other building. The windows were boarded around the main part of the building and showroom, but she could see in to the garage through little windows on the doors. She could make out vehicles, one a Mercedes, which Bates had informed them was the make of Richard's main car. They were definitely inside, but she had no way to know how many people were inside.

"Guys, I've got vehicles in the garage. I think one is Richards." She said into her coms. "I can't see anything else in the building, so I'm not sure how many people we have inside.

"We're approaching the building." Sam replied. He, Callen, and Bates were on foot.

"Ok, I'm coming down." Kensi said as she quickly packed up her riffle. She wasn't very useful up there since she couldn't get any views inside the building.

The only ways into the building were through the garage and through a back entrance. The main entrance, which was in the showroom had been long boarded up with the windows. Callen and Sam waited at the garage for Kensi and Bates to get into position at the back of the building.

Once everyone signaled they were in position, Bates signaled to SWAT that they were going in and that was there queue to move in.

Callen had already peeked through the windows on the garage door, noting three cars. No one seemed to be inside, so he had slid the door open just high enough for he and Sam to roll under. Once everyone had been in position, they both rolled under and quickly made it to their feet, as Kensi had picked the lock on the back door for her and Bates to enter.

As thought, there was no one in the garage. Sam and Callen both moved towards a dimly lit hallway. They made it to the tech room, their guns both drawn, and quickly caught Dave off guard. Before Dave could react, Sam reached out for him, placing his arms tightly around his neck to keep him from yelling out. Callen saw a roll of duct tape on one of the desks and tore a piece off, placing it over Dave's mouth. "Since when do you carry duct tape?" Sam asked, trying to keep his voice down.

"Eh, it was on the table over there." Callen replied. He pulled out a thick zip tie and secured Johnny's hands behind him. They both set him on a chair in the room and walked out, closing the door behind them. Surely SWAT would find him when they came in.

Kensi and Bates entered the back room unsure of what to expect. There were kids toys placed about and a tv in the corner, where a young blonde girl sat on a bean bag chair watching an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. They were both quiet enough that the girl had not heard them enter.

Slowly, Kensi approached the girl from behind. Her foot hit a toy just right and the girl whipped around. She looked terrified. "Hey, it's ok." Kensi said softly. "We're here to help you."

Eleanor's lip quivered and she looked as if she were about to scream. Bates couldn't risk her alerting anyone, so he came around quickly and grabbed her. He placed a hand over her mouth as she struggled.

"What are you doing?" Kensi asked, shocked at his actions.

"We can't risk her yelling." He dragged Eleanor to the door and opened it, finding SWAT on the other side ready to enter. He handed her off to one of the SWAT members.

SWAT entered and followed Kensi and Bates down a hall and past a set of bathrooms. From the other side of the building, SWAT entered at the garage where Sam and Callen had entered. Through the coms Kensi had alerted the other team members that they had found a girl and heard back that they had found some kind of techie in a computer room.

Callen alerted Kensi that they were about to enter the showroom and waited for Kensi and Bates to get into position so they could enter at the same time. A "one, two, three, go" from Callen was the final queue for them to all enter.

"Federal agents, drop your weapons and put your hands up." The three NCIS agents shouted upon entering.

Kensi and Bates had to maneuver around the side of one of the sets in the showroom before they could see the whole room, but Sam and Callen had a clear view of everything...to include the sets, two suspects, a small boy in a cage on one set, and a victim in one of the other sets. They could only assume the victim was Deeks. They couldn't be certain though, as his face was covered in some sort of mask.

Goose turned and froze in place, he was the furthest from the sets, but Richard moved behind Deeks and angled his prod so he could strike Deeks in the chest. He held it firmly in place as the body in the chair convulsed. "Don't come any closer." He yelled.

Kensi could finally see exactly what was happening and, for a moment, lost her breath when she saw what she thought was Deeks in that chair with his head hanging back and his body being electrocuted. There was blood going down his neck and the front of his shirt, but she couldn't see his face.

SWAT was right behind all of them with a gun aimed for Richard's head. Unfortunately, Richard tucked down close to Deeks, using him as a shield, all while holding the prod into his battered body. No one could get in behind him because of how the individual sets were built. There were walls separating the three sets and he was in the furthest set in.

Sam knew that if they didn't do something soon, Deeks heart would give from the shocks and he would die. He knew all to well the pain of electroshock. He had endured it himself almost two years ago when Sidorov was grilling them about Michelle.

"Put the weapon down." Bates demanded.

Richard knew there was no escape for him. He was surrounded. He moved the prod away from Deeks body and stood, as if ready to submit defeat, but when Callen took a step forward to approach him, he shoved it back into Deeks' body. "Get back, now." Richard yelled. His mistake had been standing and it nearly cost him everything. SWAT fired, aiming for his shoulder.

Richard jerked back in pain, the prod dropping from his hand in the process. Sam and Callen didn't waste any time in tackling him and securing him firmly. Goose had already been taken by SWAT.

Kensi ran to Deeks, placing her gun back in it's holster. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat when she saw the concrete block tied to the mask that was forcing his head back at an uncomfortable angle. She saw no movement in his chest and she knew right away that he wasn't breathing.

"Guys." She motioned for Sam and Callen, who had just handed Richard over to SWAT as Bates attended to the child in the other set.

Sam and Callen turned their attention back to Deeks. Sam lifted the concrete block to try and ease some of the tension on Deeks' neck as Callen untied the rope securing it. As soon as it was free, Deeks' head flopped to the side and rolled forward limply. Kensi was working on his hands and legs, taking off the restraints. Then, she went for the mask, pulling it off ever so slightly, revealing a bloody and broken nose, as well as some swelling around his right eye.

Quickly, Sam and Callen moved him to the floor, laying him flat. They started CPR as they waited for the medical team they had on standby to get into the building. After what seemed like hours, they heard Deeks wince and saw him take in some faint breaths.

"Deeks, can you hear me?" Kensi asked. She took his hand in hers and began stroking it gently. "Please open your eyes."

Deeks moaned as his body began to shake and twitch. His muscles were contracting and releasing violently and pain came to him in bright waves. He couldn't open his eyes or concentrate on anything around him. Mentally, he was out of it and his brain was only focused on the pain and getting what little air it could from his lungs.

Paramedics rushed over to him and put on him an oxygen mask, pumping sweet air into him as they squeezed the bag attached to it. They immediately cut his shirt off and got a heart rate monitor on him. Their were dark bruises on his stomach and paramedics suspected possible damage to his ribs. They were careful not to put too much pressure on the area, but they had to feel for any sign of injury. Deeks winced when they hit a certain spot on his right side, where a rib or possibly two had been broken or fractured. One paramedic gauzed and bandaged his broken nose. Carefully, he was put on a stretcher and lifted so he could be rolled to the ambulance.

Kensi fought with paramedics so she could ride with Deeks, but they wouldn't let her. They claimed there wasn't enough room and told her where they were taking him. She was furious and everyone could see it, so Sam offered to drive her to the hospital while Callen stayed behind with LAPD to take care of anything else that needed to be done at the scene.

**Now we will deal with the ramifications of the case and how Deeks recovers and copes with it all. Please review. Thanks!**

**P.S. Sorry about any typos. I've read this over several times and might have missed something. It's hard to proof read when I have a toddler trying to bang on the keyboard.**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews. They finally got to Deeks. Now it's just a matter of dealing with his recovery and the aftermath of the case. I apologize if Bates might be out of character here, but I only seem to recall him in one episode...that didn't give me much to go on. Also, I'm not a doctor. I did some research on google and on a few medical websites, so I apologize if the medical aspects of what Deeks has been through are not 100% accurate.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. This chapter and the next few deal with torture.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 5

Sam sped his Challenger down the road, trying to keep up with the ambulance. Not a word passed between he and Kensi, but that didn't bother him. He could see how worried and terrified she was for Deeks. He remembered back to the Sidorov case. She seemed heartbroken to see him in pain after being tortured by the Russian. It was different then because they hadn't defined themselves as a couple yet and now they were a couple. Sam knew from experience that it was hard to work at a job like that, saving the world every other day with the one you loved most in the world working right beside you.

They pulled into the hospital parking lot right behind the ambulance. Before Kensi could get out, they saw Deeks being rushed in to the ER. She jumped out and ran after him, leaving Sam behind. He knew he couldn't leave his car there, so he decided to go and park.

"Deeks?" Kensi ran into the ER and tried to follow him into a room, but a nurse stopped her.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you have to wait out here." The nurse said. "I'll have the doctor come and address you as soon as the patient's stable."

The door closed in Kensi's face and she thought about what the nurse had said. _"As soon as he's stable?"_ How bad was he? She had no idea the extent of his torture, especially the electrocution that he had endured. She didn't quite realize just how dire the situation was, completely forgetting that Sam and Callen had to do CPR on him before the paramedics had even gotten to him. All she could do was stand at the door, waiting and watching as they frantically worked on him.

Sam joined her moments later. He tried to get a peek at Deeks, but the nurses and doctors that surrounded him made it hard. All he could really see were his feet, which were now bare. "Why don't we go over here and sit. I can get us some coffee and..." Sam tried to coax Kensi, but she wouldn't have any of it.

"No, I have to be here for him." She replied, fighting tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks.

"Kens, it doesn't matter if you're right outside the door or a few feet away in a chair." Sam said.

She signed and gave in, letting Sam guide her to a chair. "How do you do it?" She asked Sam.

He sat next to her. "Do what?"

"How do you keep it together when you're working with Michelle?" She knew they both worked for different agencies, but that the two had worked together on a few cases. That was how they had met after all.

He thought for a moment about how to answer. "It's hard. Your instinct is to protect the ones you love, but you have to try and ignore that instinct sometimes, keep your focus on the case." He paused. "We were on this one case and this guy starts beatin' on Michelle. My first instinct was to tackle the guy and make sure she was ok, but I knew I couldn't screw up the mission. She had some great field and hand to hand combat training, so I waited to see what she did to the guy and she beat the guy to a pulp. It turns out it was just a test, to make sure she was a good fit for the group we were trying to infiltrate. They wanted to make sure she could handle herself. Sometimes, you have to have faith in your partner, trust in his or her ability to hold their own out there in the field. You can't let your heart get in the way on a case."

"It was so much easier before, when we were just work friends. Usually we're out there together and we have eachothers backs, but I feel so different now when he's working a case with the LAPD. I feel like I should be there to protect him." Kensi replied.

"Kens, Deeks was a great undercover cop before he came to NCIS. He's used to being on his own." Sam explained. "He's used to working with poor aliases and having to get himself out of jams. This isn't anything new for him. You have to trust in his ability when he's at LAPD too, not just when he's working with us."

Kensi thought about what he said. "I guess you're right. He's been in these situations before."

* * *

><p>Richard had been taken to the same hospital as Deeks, arriving only minutes after with a full police escort. Goose and Dave had been taken right into custody and carted to jail. The kids were taken also by police to the station where they could question the kids and meet with child services.<p>

Callen, Bates, and several others stayed behind at the old dealership. Callen had called Eric and asked if he'd make a field visit to check out all the tech equipment that was set up in the building. Eric wasn't used to going out in the field, but he tried several ways to hack into the system from ops, failing each time. The systems was expertly secured from outside forces.

A few LAPD officers found a closet labeled 'archives' and forced it open, revealing shelves of dvds. They were all labeled with different titles and the dates in which they were filmed. Bates took one to the back room where the TV was still playing old Bugs Bunny cartoons. He put it in the DVD player and hit play. It was a video of Eleanor. She looked to be about nine years old. She was being filmed in one of the sets with an unknown boy of about the same age. Both children were naked and performing sex acts with one another. He didn't leave the video on long, turning it off quickly in disgust.

Eric worked his magic on the computers at the dealership, easily getting into the system. He was able to disable the website that was set up, where Richard had many of his videos posted for members who paid a hefty subscription fee each month to watch them. There were also photos on the website and many archived on the servers. It wasn't just videos that Richard did, but also photography. Several big files were just of his daughter alone, but there were many unknown children also photographed. Some children were together and in compromising positions.

Eric was able to get a full list of website subscribers. They suspected that most probably used a fake name and e-mail on the account, but some less experienced pedophiles probably weren't smart enough to do that and used their real names. They would be tracked down, questioned, and probably arrested.

Callen finished at the dealership and headed to the hospital to check on their liaison officer.

* * *

><p>It seemed like hours had gone by since the doctors and nurses had begun work on Deeks. Everyone sat impatiently in the waiting area for someone to come out with something, anything. Then, the doors opened and Deeks was wheeled out on a gurney. Nurses followed him, wheeling his IVs and other medical equipment.<p>

Kensi stood, immediately wanting to run after him, but a taller, older man in a white doctors coat stopped her. "Are you family of Martin Deeks?" He asked with a slight southern accent.

She glanced at Sam and then at Callen before answering. "Yes, we're his family."

"I'm Doctor Barlow." He said. He quickly reached for a chair, pulling it over to the agents. Kensi took her seat as she waited for him to continue. "Martin was in rough shape when he came in. His heart gave out on the way to the hospital, but paramedics were quick to revive him. He was a little incoherent when he was admitted, but that's to be expected given his recent trauma. He has suffered a broken nose. We've stabilized the bones and have splinted it. He has also suffered from a couple of fractured ribs that will heal in time. I'm not sure if you're aware or not, but it seems he has drowned recently."

"What?" Kensi asked, sounding surprised.

"We weren't aware of that." Callen added in.

"I would guess it's from a form of water torture, though I can't be specific as to which method was used." Dr. Barlow explained. He knew his patient had been tortured, which is how he had come to that conclusion. "I'm worried most about the damage to his system from the electroshock."

"How bad is it?" Sam asked. He had been tortured from electroshock and had some minor damage to his heart and some nerves in his body, but it had healed on it's own. He hadn't endured nearly what Deeks had though. Sidorov hadn't tortured him long before he focused on the _weak _one.

"He's going to be in a lot of pain over the next few days and weeks. Some of his nerves were greatly affected. He's suffering from a bit of neuropathy, which means some of his nerves are twitching and cramping, which is causing a lot of that pain. It should dull down over time, but we have him on some pain medication and muscle relaxers and are monitoring him closely in case it worsens. We are watching his heart especially." Dr. Barlow replied.

"When can we see him?" Kensi asked.

"I'll send a nurse out to you shortly. We're getting him situated in a room." He answered.

* * *

><p>Hetty sat in Lieutenant Bates office, sipping a cup of terrible break room coffee. Bates wasn't in the habit of keeping teas in the office. The man's idea of a cup of tea was buying those cheap tea packets at the store and dipping them in hot water. Oh how she loathed that kind of tea.<p>

Bates started explaining the case to Hetty. "He was undercover as Danny Briggs, a closet pedophile who was using drugs to fight his urges. We had a fake prison rap sheet set up that showed him going to prison on drug charges. He was out on parole and had to do community service. We had him in at a place that Richard Pierson volunteers for."

"Isn't Pierson on the board of education? He heads several organizations around Los Angeles." Hetty said. She had donated some money last year to one of his organizations that helps wounded vets in and around the Los Angeles area.

"Yes, he's very prominent in the community." Bates explained. "We stumbled on some child pornography. A paroled child molester was caught with it on his computer and we traced it back to a website called Taking Innocence. Word was that the website belonged to Richard and that he was running a child pornography ring, so we got Deeks in and had him get close to him. Deeks called us yesterday and told us that he was finally in. Richard had offered him a job and gave him an address to meet him at today. He wanted Deeks to star in his movies. Deeks passed on the address and we were on standby to raid the building, but they never showed."

"Richard obviously took him somewhere else, since Mr. Deeks' car was left behind at his alias' apartment. I suppose he wasn't sure he could trust him with the real address." It was an easy assumption for Hetty to come up with. She set her plastic cup of coffee down, as thoughts of Richard's poor children came to mind. "Now what of the children?"

Bates sank back in his chair, a solemn look on his face. "The boy's covered in bruises from head to toe, though he doesn't seem to have any serious injuries."

"And the girl?" Hetty asked.

"She's in with a psychologist that Child Services brought over." He paused, not sure he could continue. "The bastard was having sex with her on a regular basis. She claims he was making love to her. She says that she likes pleasing him. She asked us when she was going back to him."

"What does the mother have to say about any of this?" Hetty realized that the mother hadn't been mentioned yet. Perhaps she knew what was going on?

"An officer spoke to her, but she claims to know nothing. She has said nothing but good things about her husband, but given what we found in their basement, she had to know what was going on." Bates said in disgust. "I don't know how someone does that to their kids. The bastards deserve to rot in hell."

"Will the children be placed in foster homes?" Hetty asked curiously. She knew that the foster system wasn't great and hated the thought of them getting put in the system or heaven forbid, sent to two different homes.

Bates sighed and answered. "Temporarily, they'll be placed in a home, but we're in the process of contacting relatives that might be able to take them in."

"Please be sure to keep me updated on their status." Hetty said. "I'm sure our Mr. Deeks will want to know how they are doing."

"Of course, I'll let you know." Bates replied.

**Eric got to go in the field so to speak. Someone had to take down the kiddie porn site and of course, he was perfect for the job. I know I haven't written Nell into the story, but don't worry...she makes an appearance in future chapters. Please review. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

Not a lot of reviews on that last chapter, but eh...I'm just glad someone's reading. This story is complete now, but I'll continue posting every few days until I've posted all the chapters. I don't want to overwhelm anyone by posting them all at once. I know one of the readers mentioned something about wishing they saw some kind of reaction from Eric in regards to the case and finding all those photos on Richard's computer. If I could rewrite that last chapter, I would add that in, but you see a little snippet of how he felt in this chapter.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. This chapter and the next few deal with torture.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 6

A short, freckle face nurse lead them back to Deeks private room. It wasn't always customary for patients to have a private room so quickly, but they usually made exceptions for police officers and those who served the city. "He's in here." She stopped at room number 103. "We've got him stable and comfortable for now. He's currently under, but he might wake in the next few hours. If you'd all like to go in and see him for a few minutes, that should be ok, but only one can stay with him."

Sam and Callen both gave each other quick glance before their eyes met on Kensi. She would be the one to stay. Her and Deeks weren't really open about their new relationship, but everyone knew about it. They knew she'd want to stay, that she'd feel obligated to stay.

"Thank you." Callen said to the nurse. He turned to Kensi. "Sam and I will just come in for a few minutes. Then we have to get back and catch up on the paperwork for today." It was late in the evening now, but the paperwork had to get done at some point.

"I completely forgot about the paperwork." Kensi replied.

"It's ok, we got it covered for now." Sam knew that her paper work could wait. Hetty would understand. And speaking of Hetty, she was no where to be seen. She hadn't even so much as called to check up on Deeks. They had no idea that she was fighting for the children.

"Are you going in?" Callen asked. Kensi seemed hesitant.

"Right, ok." She replied, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly as she pushed the door open. Deeks' bed was centered in the room, with equipment on either side connected to his body. He had an IV in one arm and a heart monitor attached to his chest. His nose was splinted and a breathing tube assisted in his breathing. He was silent and unmoving accept for the occasional twitch of his body that they noticed as he slept.

Slowly, they each approached his bed. Sam squeezed his foot gently. "Hey there Shaggy. We got your back man. Just come back to us." He said.

"If Hetty hasn't offered you a full time position yet, I'm gonna have a nice long chat with her about it." Callen added and joked. "I don't mind having to play hero, but I'm tired of doing it on your LAPD cases. You belong with your team. We'll come by and check on you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." Sam said to Kensi as he and Callen headed for the door.

"Ok, thanks guys." She watched them walk out before focusing on Deeks again. Finding a chair and pulling it over, she sat next to his bed and took his hand. There were bruises around his wrist, probably from where he had been strapped into the chair and fought against his restraints. She looked at his chest and saw the dark bruises that riddled it, especially around his ribs. "Hey there partner. You made a promise to me and you better not break it." Tears started trickling down her cheeks. "I...I love you and I can't lose you." There, she had finally said it...those three little words that she hasn't spoken since Jack. Though Deeks and Kensi had finally admitted what they felt for one another, with Deeks telling her that he was falling in love with her on the night that tacos turned into a evening of wild, passionate love and sex, she had not used the L word yet. She hadn't been ready to use it until now and here, she wasn't even sure he could hear her. She hoped she would have the courage to say it again once he was awake.

* * *

><p>Hetty stood in ops, watching over Eric's shoulder. "Have you found anything yet, Mr. Beale?" She asked.<p>

Eric was busy typing away at his computer. He was having a hard time concentrating after seeing where Richard made his movies; after seeing the images and videos on that website. He couldn't imagine what his kids and the unknown kids in the videos had been through. Only a monster would do those kinds of things. "Yes, Deana Pierson has a brother in Northern California named Timothy Raynor." Eric replied, finally pulling his info up on the screen.

"Good, I want you to send his information down to my computer. It seems the relatives that Lieutenant Bates found have no interest in taking in the children." Hetty explained when she saw the curious look on Eric's face. "He said that if he can't find another relative or a family willing to take both children in, they will be separated." She thought about Callen, growing up apart from his sister and she couldn't bare the thought of anyone separating those poor children like he and his sister had been. Both of Pierson's kids had already been through enough.

Hetty made her way down to her desk and opened her laptop, reading the information Eric had found on Timothy Raynor. He was twenty-eight years old and a graduate from Stanford University. He was a lawyer who married and had one child with his wife. According to the file, Timothy and Deana had both been placed in foster care when they were children after their parents died in a car accident. Both had gone to separate homes and had never really connected again after all these years had gone by. Asking him to take in the children of his estranged sister would be a stretch, but she had to at least try.

Sighing, Hetty knew it was getting late. Calling Timothy would have to wait until the morning. She still had to check on Deeks anyways and she knew that the later she went, the more she risked the hospital staff turning her away. Sam and Callen had informed her of his condition when they had come in to finish their paperwork for the day, but she preferred to see in person.

She rose from her desk, closed her laptop, placed her favorite tea cup in it's designated spot, and headed out to her car. It didn't take her long to get to the hospital from the Mission, but the nurses tried to tell her that she would have to come back in the morning. They wouldn't even give her the room number. "Oh bugger." She cursed the nurse as she started walking out, but then caught sight of Kensi walking down the hall with a fresh coffee in her hand.

Kensi noticed Hetty almost immediately. "Hey, Hetty." She said, little emotion in her voice. She was trying to hide the worry she was emitting, but Hetty could see it clear on her face.

"Hello, Ms. Blye." Hetty replied. "The nurses wouldn't let me back to see how our Mr. Deeks is doing."

"Right, well it's getting late I guess." Kensi said after glancing at a wall clock. "He's in room one-o-three. I'll show you."

Hetty followed behind her. "I can see that you are very worried for your partner."

"No, he's going to be fine. I mean..." Kensi's voice faltered. She stopped just a short ways from Deeks' room. "He's been tortured before and he barely made it through that. Now he's had to go through it all again and I just don't know if someone can come back from that."

"You've worked with him for several years now and I think it's safe to say you know him on a very personal level. He's strong and he'll pull through this." Hetty replied.

Kensi wasn't so sure she believed that. Deeks was strong, but he was also stubborn. He held onto things for a long time and had a hard time letting things go. She worried this would be one of those things. On top of that, she had no idea the extent of his cover identity. She had no idea what he had let that little girl do to him. She wanted to believe that he would pull through it, but even the Sidirov case had been hard on him. He spent months recovering and getting back to his old self after it.

Kensi walked a few more steps to Deeks' room. "He's here." She opened the door and led Hetty inside. "They've got him stable, but they're worried about his heart the most. They said he could wake up at any time, but he hasn't yet."

"I'm sure he will in due time." Hetty replied. Her eyes fell on the detective as he laid so lifeless in the bed before her. She could see the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath of air that the breathing machine allowed him. She sat next to his bed in the lousy chair Kensi's sore back was all too familiar with. Hetty patted his hand. "I'm glad we could get you back safely, Mr. Deeks, but now I'm afraid the hardest part is yet to begin. Rest well and come back to us. You have a whole family here that's ready and willing to help if you need it." She stood and turned to Kensi, who was at the foot of the bed. "Try to get some rest yourself."

"I will, Hetty." Kensi replied. She waited until the older woman was out of the room before she sat back in her chair. She turned it just right so she could sit with her knees bent up into her chest so her feet were resting on the seat. She made sure she had one free hand so she could hold one of Deeks' comfortably. His hand felt cold in hers. Hell, the whole room was cold. She pulled it up and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it as she felt his body twitch.

She remembered doing all of this and more with Jack. She had never been enough to get him through all of it, through his PTSD. He left her heartbroken and afraid to love again. Here she was, finally trusting her heart with someone again and now this had to happen. Deeks had been injured before. He was even tortured before. He shut her out for a while, but after she forced herself back into his line of sight one late night with a bag of chinese food and his favorite pastry, things had gotten better. She was able to help him get through his ordeal. Hopefully, he would let her help this time as well. She realized it was different now that they were a couple, but she would put her all into this, just as she had with Jack, and pray that it was enough, that she would be enough for Deeks.

* * *

><p>Kensi awoke the next morning when she felt Deeks' hand jerk away from hers. She tried to move her cramped legs, but a sharp pain shot through them. Deeks started moaning, so she ignored the pain and bolted upright, straightening her legs out in front of her. "Deeks?" She saw his hands going right for the breathing tube. "Hold on, Deeks." She grabbed his arms and tried to hold them down, which put him in more of a panic. His eyes shot open and she could see a look of pure terror in his eyes. She couldn't let go of his hands, fearing he would rip the tube from his throat, so she started yelling for the doctor. "Help, I need a doctor in here."<p>

A nurse and doctor came rushing in a few moments later. The nurse took over for Kensi, holding Deeks' arms down. The doctor secured his head and pulled a small light from his pocket, waving it in front of each of his eyes. "I need you to relax, Martin." The doctor said to him. "You need to relax so we can determine if we can remove the breathing tube." Deeks tensed as the nurse held his arms securely at his sides.

"Deeks, please listen to the doctor. He just wants to help you." Kensi said in a calming voice. His eyes darted around, trying to find the face that matched the voice. It was Kensi, his Kensi. She sounded like an angel. As soon as he saw her sweet face...those mismatched brown eyes and brown hair left down and wavy, just the way he liked it, his body calmed.

The doctor looked him over and decided they could remove the tube. His breathing sounded fine and he didn't think there was a need for it anymore. Removing the tube was a quick and easy task, but it was very uncomfortable for Deeks. He felt like they were pulling a dagger up through his throat and when it was all said and done, his throat and mouth were dry and scratchy. The doctor left him with some water and told him to sip it slowly. It would help with the dry throat. He also instructed him not to talk much until his throat was feeling a bit better.

Typically, it was hard for Deeks to be so quiet, but in the current moment, he had nothing to say. He knew Kensi, the rest of the team, and his LAPD team would all have questions for him, but he dreaded having to answer them. He didn't want to talk about what happened...about the torture or about what those poor children had been through, what that little girl had to do to him, what he's done to her. Thinking about her made his chest tighten. His whole body tensed in anger.

"Deeks? What is it?" Kensi could immediately see that something was wrong. He turned his head away from her, not wanting to talk. "What ever you're thinking, you can tell me."

He tried to calm his body, but he felt his muscles tighten in pain and he let out a small whimper. His vision went hazy for a few seconds. Kensi could see a panic come over him, so she took his hand and stroked it gently. The haze left him and he focused on her again. He took in her scent and the softness of her hands. He bathed in her sweet sunshine, but it wasn't enough. The darkness he felt within him was just too much. His eyes grew heavy and he couldn't fight it any longer. The darkness took over and he was unconscious a moment later.

Kensi had so many questions for Deeks, but she didn't think he was ready to answer any of them. Instead, she just focused on being by his side and making sure he was comfortable. She wasn't surprised that he had slipped away again, but from the look she saw on his face...that panic, she worried for him. While the torture was something he had already lived through at least once in his life, the events leading up to it probably were unlike anything he's dealt with before and she wasn't all too sure what they were yet. Eventually, she would find out though.

**Only a few more chapters left. Reviews are welcome. Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for that. I have been busy and started writing another story, which has distracted me from updating. Thanks to all my readers for sticking around though (at least I hope you stuck around). More on Deeks' recovery and a confrontation between Callen, Sam, and Hetty.

**WARNING: **This story has a strict rating. It involves talk of rape and pedophilia and there may be some very mature scenes that involve them. This chapter and the next few deal with torture.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters.

CHAPTER 7

Sam and Callen had been to see Deeks again, but he was in and out of consciousness all morning and they had caught him during one of the times he was out again. Deeks really didn't want to talk to them or anyone anyways. He was glad to have missed them.

Hetty spent the morning trying to contact Timothy Raynor, also known as Fry by his friends. He was surprised to hear from someone regarding his sister, explaining that he tried to reconnect with her once they were both legal age and again just a few years ago, but had no luck. She wouldn't let him get close, though he suspected Richard had something to do with that. Timothy said that it seemed Richard controlled her every move. He finally just gave up on trying to have a relationship with her.

When she asked him if he'd be willing to come and meet his niece and nephew, he was hesitant. She explained the situation to him, about how they were going into the system and could be split like he and his sister were. She said that he didn't have to commit to taking them in, but he should at least meet them before their fate would be decided. Hetty hoped that once he met them, he would feel for them and want to take them in to finish raising them. She hoped he could and would give them the home they deserved and the love they deserved.

Timothy agreed to fly down to meet them. Luckily, his law firm had a private jet and he could be down to LA from San Francisco by dinner time.

* * *

><p>Deeks came to, just in time to catch Kensi snatching his Jell-o off the lunch tray by his bed. He eyed her, but didn't argue. He wasn't in the mood to eat. "Did you want this?" She teased, taking a big spoonful of Jell-o.<p>

"Not hungry." He said hoarsely.

"Well, you need to eat something." She lifted the tray off of his main dish on the lunch tray, revealing mac and cheese, a turkey sandwich, and green beans.

"Not hungry." He repeated, turning away from her and the tray. His chest tightened when he realized how sore and pained his muscles felt. He wished there was something that could take the pain away, but he hated drugs and, even though the doctor had pain meds regularly given to him, he didn't dare ask for more.

"Deeks, do you want to talk about what happened? Do you want to talk about the case?" She asked, setting the lid back on his food.

"No." He answered quickly and sternly. He turned back to her. "Maybe you should just go."

"What?" His words surprised her. "I'm not going anywhere." She pulled her chair closer and tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away forcefully.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I'm just done with, with everything." He stammered. His eyes watered. "I'm just done fighting and, and I can't do it anymore."

"You can't do what? You're starting to scare me." Kensi replied. "What do you mean when you say you're done with everything?" She wondered if he had meant he was done with everyone as well.

"I don't want to talk anymore." He said. "Just go, I need some space."

She shook her head. "No, I told you I'm not leaving." Not even a moment later, her phone rang. It was Eric at ops. She was needed for a case.

"Just go, Kensi, I'll be fine." Deeks said when he realized what Eric was calling about.

"I'm not leaving you." She replied. "They'll be fine without me."

"Kens, you should go." He shot back. "I'm not going anywhere."

No, she wouldn't leave him. She didn't want to give him a chance to push her away like he did last time. She spent days, weeks, months trying to get him to talk to her after the Sidirov case, but he avoided her. He avoided everyone. Finally, she was able to get him to let her in, she was able to get him to open up to her about some of it. In the long run, it had been an amazing turn of events for their relationship and partnership. She wasn't about to let any of that slip away. "I'm staying, they can take Nell out as backup. She's been out with them before." Deeks stared at her, not arguing with her this time. "If you don't want to talk to me, fine, but you need to talk to someone. Maybe Hetty can get Nate here to help."

"No, not Nate." Deeks almost begged. "I, I can't talk. I'm not ready."

Kensi decided to give him a few more days to sort out in his head what happened during the case before she would ask Hetty to bring Nate in. She knew he just needed a little bit of time to get his thoughts straight. After her time in Afghanistan, she had needed a little bit of time herself.

After a few days, Doctor Barlow worked his way up to Deeks' room from the ER. He had wanted to check up on his torture patient. He had never had a patient before who had been under such circumstances and he wanted to make sure he was on the road to recovery before they released him. Deeks was still sore and weak from the electrocution and his ribs were still sore, but he was doing as well as to be expected. Mentally, Dr. Barlow wasn't sure his patient was doing all that well, but he didn't see any reason why they couldn't release him.

Dr. Barlow told him to rest for a few days and then slowly get back into a workout routine to build back up his muscle strength, so long as he was careful in regards to his still healing ribs. He told him he could go back to limited duty in maybe three weeks and because his ribs would take longer to heal, he would be off full duty for at least six weeks.

Deeks didn't mind being out of work for a while. He wasn't even sure he wanted to work anymore. Obviously, he knew he would have to do something to pay the bills, but he wasn't sure that being a cop was what he wanted to do anymore to pay those bills. He wasn't sure he was cut out for it anymore. Hell, if it were up to him, he'd crawl into a hole and die a slow, painful death.

It sickened him to think about what he had done to that little girl and what he had let her do to him...all the times he pretended to lust over her or touched her inappropriately, her having to touch him and give him a hand job. The thought of it all made him want to puke. He thought about all the times he had seen Richard yell at his son or hit him. The only difference between Richard and his own father was that Richard did it all sober. He wasn't the drinker that Gordon John Brandel was. Richard was really only a social drinker and even then, he topped out at two drinks. Gordon didn't stop until the bottle was empty and even then, he usually just went for another bottle.

Kensi brought him from his thoughts. She could see the turmoil boiling behind the murky blue of his eyes. "Is everything ok?" She knew it wasn't ok, but wasn't sure what else to really say. They were in the car and quickly approaching Deeks' apartment. He had been released from the hospital and she had agreed to stay with him. Before the case, she had practically been living with him and Monty anyways. When Deeks didn't answer, she added. "I think Monty missed you a lot while you were gone." She was hoping that mentioning man's best friend might get a smile out of her partner, but Deeks didn't even blink. He just kept staring in front of him, watching the road pass by them.

When they made it to his apartment, he patted an excited Monty on the head and went straight to the bedroom. He fell into the bed and pulled the covers over himself. Kensi walked in after him and laid next to him on the bed, though she was on top of the covers. "You can't just hide out, Deeks." She said to him. "Sooner or later you're going to have to deal with things."

He poked his head out from under the covers. "I vote for later." He replied.

Fine, she decided he could put it off a little longer, but only long enough for Nate to get there to help. She would call Hetty later and see if she could get Nate to fly in and stay for a while.

* * *

><p>Just as Hetty had hoped, Timothy Raynor decided to take in the Pierson kids. He seemed like a good man and he was willing, along with his wife, to offer up their home. Of course, social services would need to meet with he and his wife at their home and determine that it was a safe environment for them, but Hetty foresaw no issues with that. She just hoped that the children weren't too far damaged from what Richard had done to them. She hoped that the love Timothy and his wife would offer, would be enough to heal them of the bad they've been through.<p>

Now that the children were taken care of, Hetty could focus solely on their liaison officer and his well being. Kensi had been keeping her very up to date on how he was doing mentally and physically. She worried for him and actually thought about calling in Nate to help with the situation. When Kensi called her that afternoon though, she knew she had to call.

Kensi was very worried for Deeks. He hadn't opened up about any aspects of the case and she knew something about the case had to be eating him up inside.

After calling Nate, Hetty decided to have a personal visit with Lieutenant Bates. She wanted to know every intimate detail of the case so she could relay that information to Nate. Bates was surprised to see her. He had already gone over the case with her, though he had only given her the main details...enough for her and the team to be able to assist in the case and essentially save his ass. His boss was on his case about what happened to Deeks and it was all because he didn't answer one goddam phone call. The news was all over the Pierson case as well, but luckily they were able to get Deeks left out of it. He was an undercover cop, they couldn't risk his name and photo being aired on television.

"I told you about the case already." Bates said from behind his desk. "Deeks was undercover as Danny Briggs and he was trying to bring down a kiddie pornography..."

She stopped him, with a mere wave of her hand. "I want more details than what you've given me previously. Mr. Deeks won't talk to anyone about the case. His partner is very worried about him, as are myself and the others he works with at NCIS." She said. "How was he able to get close to Richard?"

"His cover was doing mandated community service at one of the organizations that Richard volunteers for." He answered. He wasn't very happy with the way she was barking commands and questions at him, but decided it was best not to argue with the little lady. "He got close to him there. I remember him checking in one night after Richard had invited him out for beers. Next thing I know, Deeks says he's going over for a weekend BBQ. You know how Deeks has a way with people. They either end up really liking him or really hating him. Richard must have liked him."

"You said before that his cover was a closet pedophile. Is it safe to assume that he had to show affection towards Richard's children?" Hetty asked.

For a moment, Bates avoided Hetty's gaze and didn't offer an answer. Then he sighed and slid a file folder over to her. "This is everything that transpired through the course of the case. You can keep this copy. He did some things that I'm sure he's not so proud of." He paused for a moment and then tried to justify it all. "Those details don't matter in the end though. What really matters is that we shut down a kiddie pornography operation and have the dirty bastard behind it in jail."

To say that Hetty was upset when Bates said that those details didn't matter, was a serious understatement. She knew that to Deeks, they did matter. She knew that whatever he had to do would probably haunt him for a long time.

Hetty took several deep breaths, trying to calm the rage that was boiling inside of her. She took the file from Bates and walked out without another word. She immediately drove back to The Mission, sat at her desk, and opened the file. She read every little detail in regards to the case.

Deeks made personal notes of every little thing that he had to do to those children in front of Richard. He wrote about how he had to lust over them and ogle over them. He wrote about how he had slapped Eleanor on the ass a few times in front of Richard, about how he ran his hands through her blonde hair affectionately. He wrote about how he laughed one night at a family BBQ when Richard beat the shit out of his son. He wrote about the things he witnessed Richard doing to his children...how he beat and humiliated his son, how he touched his daughter inappropriately and had her touching him inappropriately. The last thing he wrote about was how he had let Eleanor touch him that night in the basement, how he did nothing to stop it, how he begged Bates to step in and get the children out.

"_Oh dear!"_ Hetty thought to herself. It was much worse than she imagined. Also in the file were personal notes documenting phone conversations between Deeks and Bates about the case. Deeks had requested to be taken off of the case several times, stating that he couldn't do what had to be done to stop Richard, how he couldn't be that kind of man. He had wanted off the case and Bates ignored his requests.

Given the childhood that Marty Deeks had lived through, Hetty was not surprised that this was a hard case for him. She wasn't surprised that he had wanted off the case either. Just when she decided to close the file and take it up to Eric, Callen walked over to her desk.

"Can I help you with something, Mr. Callen?" She asked, noticing that he seemed to walk with a purpose.

"Do you like Deeks?" He asked curiously. "I mean, do you trust him and his skills out there in the field?"

She looked at him confused and asked back, "Do you trust him?" His blue eyes weren't giving any tell as to what he was getting at.

"No, I mean yes, but I'm asking you." He said.

"Of course I trust him." She replied. "He wouldn't be our liaison officer if I didn't."

"But you don't think he's good enough to be an agent, do you?" He asked, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"I'm not sure I follow what you're getting at, Mr. Callen." Hetty had no idea where this conversation was leading.

Sam came up behind him, backing his partner up. "He wants to know why you haven't offered Deeks the chance to become an agent. He's great in the field and he's been a real asset to our team."

"Ah, I think I'm beginning to understand now." She replied. "I must inform you then, that I've already done that."

"What?" They both said in unison, clearly surprised.

"I offered him a position a couple of years ago and he turned it down. I suppose he wasn't ready to give up being a police officer." She explained. "To him it was more than just a job, it was a part of who he was, who he is. I told him to hold onto the paperwork in case he changed his mind."

"Well, we're gonna get him to change his mind." Sam said, as if they wouldn't give him any other choice.

Hetty was surprised to hear that from Sam, considering he and Deeks hadn't always been the best of friends. They seemed to get closer after the Sidirov case though. She was glad for that. "I do hope you can succeed in changing his mind, but first we need to get Nate here to help in his recovery." She replied.

**Deeks of course is being stubborn. Sam and Callen confronted Hetty, wondering why she had not offered him a position. Maybe the two of them can knock some sense into Deeks and get him to sign those papers. We'll see. Only a few more chapters left to post. Please review. Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Now I bring Nate into this story and I hope I did his character justice. Let's see if he can help Deeks. I know there hasn't been any Nell until now, but she is in the next chapter.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

CHAPTER 8

Kensi awoke the next morning eager to face the day ahead of her. Nate would be in sometime before noon and that meant Deeks might finally get some real help. She made an attempt to roll over in bed when she realized she was sprawled out like a starfish in the center of it. She didn't feel Deeks and immediately began to worry. She shot up quickly, eyes scanning the room for any sign of him. Monty laid at the foot of the bed on the floor, snuggled up to a blanket that Deeks always left out for him. She reached for a pair of sweat pants that were folded on the nightstand beside her and slipped them on, since she had on only an old LAPD t-shirt.

Kensi left the bedroom, entering the galley style kitchen. She noticed Monty's food bowl had been filled. _"Ok, so he took care of Monty this morning." _She thought. Making her way to the living room, she realized that Deeks was no where in the apartment. Apparently, he had left at some point, either during the night or really early in the morning. She thought maybe he'd tried to go surfing, but she saw his surfboard leaned against the far wall in the living room next to the TV. She also spotted his phone on the coffee table.

Without his phone, Kensi couldn't call him to find out where he was. She couldn't even have Eric trace his GPS signal to find him. She went back to the bedroom for her phone. Maybe Sam or Callen could come by and help her look for him.

When she found her phone on the nightstand, she realized there was a text waiting for her. It was from Deeks. _'Couldn't sleep, gone to the beach.' _She glanced at the other nightstand and saw that Deeks' keys were sitting on it next to a lamp. He couldn't have gone far without his keys. She walked back out to the living room and stepped outside. She glanced over the second story railing and saw that his car was still parked out front. He must have walked to the beach across the road.

Kensi turned back and reached for a pair of flip flops that were just inside the doorway of the apartment. She closed the door and walked down stairs and across the street to the beach. There was a slight breeze in the morning air, blowing her hair in her face. She pulled it back gently into a messy bun and used a hair tie she had on her wrist to secure it. The sun was behind her and she was thankful for that because she didn't have to squint to see the people out on the beach.

It was almost 8 AM and there weren't too many people out that early on the beach. She saw some surfers out in the distance, but only one person stood out to her. She saw that shaggy hair and new it was Deeks. He was standing far out in the water with the waves crashing over him. She approached slowly at first. When a wave overtook him, she started running towards him. "Deeks!" She called to him. He went under quickly, not fighting the wave.

Kensi made it to the water, kicked off her flip flops, and walked into the cold ocean. She made her way out to him and tried to pull him up. He tried to fight her, but soon realized it was a fight he wouldn't win. His muscles were still aching and his ribs hurt with every breath as he fought her. She pulled him to shore and laid him in the sand. "What are you doing?" She asked. If she hadn't known any better, she thought that he might be trying to drown himself.

His hands clenched fistfuls of sand, as if he were trying to anchor himself, but he made no attempt to sit up. He took a moment to catch his breath. "Deeks? What were you doing out there?" Kensi asked again. She grabbed a chunk of her t-shirt and rung some of the water out of it.

Deeks finally sat up, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. His gaze fell on the ocean. "I don't know what to do Kensi." He said, barely any emotion in his voice. She gave him a questioning look and he continued. "This case turned me into a monster."

"No, Deeks." She refused to believe that.

"You don't understand. You don't know what I had to do, what I had to let that little girl do." He replied, feeling sick to his stomach at the mere thought of it all. "I thought I could fight and become a better man than him, but I failed, Kensi. I'm worse than him, so much worse."

"Worse than who?" She asked, kneeling in front of him in the sand. She was ready and willing to comfort him if he needed.

His gaze met hers and she could see the tears in his eyes. "My father." When the words came out, it was as if his whole world came crashing down around him.

"Deeks, you can't think that." She said, reaching for his hands. Kensi knew a little bit about his father. He was a mean drunk and Deeks had had to shoot the man when he was eleven years old, for reasons she didn't yet know. He didn't talk much about family to her or to anyone. From what little she did know, she knew he was nothing like his father.

"You don't understand." He shot back through the tears. She was starting to hate those words. "I touched that little girl. The things I saw her father do to her, that I saw her do...the things she did to me..." He trailed off, not wanting to finish what he was saying. It needed to be said though. His voice started to tremble. "She, she gave me a hand job and, and a part of me was aroused. Kens, I liked it."

She could tell by the look on his face, that he hated himself for saying what he did. She had no idea that he had touched Eleanor or that Eleanor had done that to him, but she knew it was part of the case. She knew that it was his cover that did those things, not Marty Deeks. "Your cover did those things Deeks, not you. Sometimes when we work these cases, we have to do things that we don't really like, that go against everything that we believe in. I'm not justifying what you did or what happened to those children, but you put a very bad person in jail. He's never going to hurt them or any other children again. Tell me that doesn't mean something to you?" She stroked his hands, trying to comfort him.

Deeks hated what those kids went through, but deep down, he knew he had done a good thing by sticking to his cover and finishing his overall mission. He knew it was good that Richard Pierson was in jail and would be for a very long time, but it didn't make knowing what those kids went through any easier. It didn't make him feel any better about Eleanor and how he had treated her, what he had let her do to him. It didn't make him feel like any less of a monster. "I know I did the right thing putting him in jail, but I just...I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know if I can come back from this." He said, burying his head in her shoulder as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Kensi put her arms around him. "Let me help you than. I'm not about to give up on you, on us." She paused, pulling his head back. "Hetty brought Nate back and if you're willing to see him, maybe he can help."

Nate was the last person he wanted to see, but Nate had a way of getting him to understand things, to see things in a new light so to speak. After the Sidirov case, he had helped him to realize what it was that made his relationship with Kensi so special. Maybe he could help him through it all this time too.

When Deeks didn't say anything back, she continued. "I know you probably don't want to see him, but he really can help. We all can. We're your family now and we don't want to lose you. Please don't give up."

Deeks could see in her eyes the longing she had to help him. He could feel her desperation at the thought of losing him. He was causing her pain and it tore at his heart. He couldn't stand to see his Kensalina in pain, to see her heart on the brink of disaster after she had torn down the walls that had surrounded it for him. He remembered something from the hospital, something he thought had been whispered to him by a guardian angel. He pulled Kensi close and whispered in her ear. "I love you too." He could see the shock on her face for a moment, as she realized what he had said. "I'll do anything for you. I made a promise after all." She saw a hint of a smirk on his lips that faded back into his sadness quickly.

"I'll call Nate." She said, reaching in to kiss him.

He pulled free from her warm, sensual lips. "Can it wait a minute?" He asked. She wanted to argue, but she saw the way he was looking at her and decided that calling Nate could wait a few minutes. She sat in front of him in silence as he drank her in...the way she looked with the waves roaring behind her, the way she smelled currently like a mixture of sun and ocean water, the way the rays of the sun hit her just right, making her glow like an angel...his angel. If he could, he'd sit like that forever with her. Only in that moment could he push away all the memories and chaos from the case, from his childhood. She eased everything and he didn't know how he had lived so many years without her.

* * *

><p>Nate flew in to Los Angeles as quick as he could from the east coast. He was working with some war veterans there who had been on a few top secret missions while fighting over in the Middle East. One of his own was in need though and he thought his current patients would be ok for a few days without him. Two were down to monthly visits while one was still meeting with him weekly to talk over the missions and get the demons sorted out that went with the missions. That patient worried him the most, but Deeks' needed him and he intended to be there for him.<p>

Hetty had a very thick file on Marty Deeks and Nate was thankful to have already read it over a few times before. He knew all about Deeks' childhood...about his drunken father beating him and his mother, about his mother abandoning him after he had to save her and himself by shooting his own father. He knew about Deeks' time in the foster care system and how he had been placed with a bad family, which lead to him running away and living on the streets for a few weeks. He knew about Deeks' interesting choices in jobs as he paid his way through college. Every detail about Martin Deeks, Hetty had somehow managed to acquire, was in that file.

During his flight he had read over his latest case file. What he read surprised him. Given Deeks' history and his poor upbringing at the hands of a drunken, abusive father, he was quite shocked to see that Deeks had been able to keep it together during the case and see it all the way through. He knew that doing so, probably had broken the detective. Deeks had a habit of taking blame for things, even things that were out of his control. He was so hard on himself. Nate knew it would be tough going for a while, but he also knew that Deeks had several people who cared for him at NCIS that would do anything to help him through this hard time.

After landing and talking the case over with Hetty, he met Deeks at the beach. It was late afternoon and the waves had calmed the detective a great deal. Kensi stayed at the apartment, not wanting to interfere with Nate and whatever he was planning to do to help Deeks. Nate found him with his butt on the sand and his feet buried in the sand. His knees were drawn up into his chest with his arms folded across his knees. He was staring out into the water watching a few surfers out in the distance.

For a few seconds, Nate just stood next to Deeks in silence, watching the surfers as he did until one crashed into a wave and went under. "You have a lot of people that are worried about you." He said to the detective.

"To tell you the truth, I'm kind of worried about myself." Deeks replied, finally taking his eyes from the water.

Nate sat next to him, so as not to seem intimidating in his tall form. "What worries you the most?" He asked.

"Turning into my father." Deeks answered slowly.

"You've never seemed worried about that before." Nate said.

"That was when I thought I had risen above him, but now..." Deeks couldn't finish his thought. Eleanor's face flashed in his mind and it felt like a dagger piercing his body.

"But now...?" Nate pushed.

"I feel like such a monster." Deeks admitted. "I should have done something for those kids, but I just stood back and let it all happen."

"You were following your cover, you were letting the case come to a head." Nate explained. "You put their father in jail. You put a stop to a child pornography ring."

Nate was right. He had done all of those things, but he still felt like he should have done something. He had begged Bates to step in and help the children. At one point, he had told Bates that he couldn't handle the case. It reminded him too much of his own childhood. Bates thought he was just being a whiny little bastard though and told him to carry on with the case, to push forward until it was all over.

"I just don't know how I'm supposed to put all of this behind me and move on like it never happened." Deeks replied, feeling lost and vulnerable.

"Well, I can't ask you do to that." Nate said. Deeks looked confused for a moment and he continued. "You're not meant to move on like it never happened. The memory will always be there, as you well know from experience. You've moved passed your traumatic childhood, but surely you still have memories about it. Surely you still think about it sometimes."

"More than you know." Deeks mumbled.

"You can't pretend that it never happened, but what you can do is just take it one day at a time. Perhaps it will help to know that both children are with relatives now who can offer them a good and loving home." Nate replied.

A faint smile crossed Deeks' lips. "Yeah? I thought they'd end up in the system or something." He said.

"Hetty helped Lieutenant Bates track down some family members to take them in when she found out that social services might place them in separate homes." Nate informed him. "Both children are scheduled to see a clinical psychologist, after enduring physical and sexual abuse for several years, but they are both in a home where they can flourish with enough love and encouragement that they both need and deserve. That's all in part of what you did. You helped them escape the hell they were living in."

Deeks looked out onto the water again, not replying. Nate continued. "That's what you have to focus on, not what happened throughout the course of the case. You have to channel your energy into focusing on the outcome. Focus on the children in their new home, being loved and cared for. Hopefully, despite what they've lived through, they can over come it all...like you did."

Deeks felt tears slowly burning his eyes and fought to keep them from falling. "Focus on the outcome." He repeated.

"Can you do that?" Nate asked.

"I don't know, but I'm willing to try." Deeks answered. If he didn't at least try, he felt like somehow, he would be letting everyone down that had ever believed in him, everyone that had helped him overcome his own childhood and succeed as an adult. He knew if he didn't try, he'd especially be letting Kensi down and she had already been let down before. He loved her and he couldn't dream of seeing her heartbroken again.

**Sadly, there is only one more chapter left to post. Please review. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

Hey, thanks for the reviews. What started out as me writing a one shot turned into 9 chapters. This is our final chapter though. I hope you've enjoyed it. I have a few other NCIS: LA stories on my profile if you feel like checking them out and will probably write more in the future.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

CHAPTER 9

The next few days were touch and go for Deeks. Nate talked with him a few different times, trying to help him through the events that transpired during the case. Little by little, he seemed to be making progress with Deeks.

Kensi was by his side, willing to help with whatever he needed. She wasn't giving up on him and he was thankful to have her. She was his sweet sunshine and each morning when he woke up with her face laying on his chest, her legs and arms spread out over the bed, his day seemed just a little bit brighter. Slowly, he was starting to push the darkness away.

He remembered something that Sam said a long time ago, after the Sidirov case. He said that laughing was good. He hadn't had a good laugh in a while. Hell, he hadn't had a good and genuine smile on his face in a while either. This case was all kinds of crazy and it had fucked him up real good, but he had to push on. He had to try and work through it. He had to try and focus on the outcome.

The children were in a good home now. They were getting the help they needed to hopefully overcome all that happened to them in that home with Richard. He, himself, was now getting help. Even though he dreaded talking with Nate at first, he's kind of glad he's been talking to him now.

He watched Kensi in the kitchen from his spot on the couch. He smiled as he took in every curve of her body. She bent over to reach into the fridge and seeing her ass in those tight jeans made his heart skip a beat.

Kensi peeked her head out from the fridge. "I think we might have to run to the store. We're out of..." She was about to say they were out of beer, but she noticed his gaze and realized what he was staring at, with that cheesy grin on his face. While she was grateful to finally see that grin again, she couldn't help but throw a jab at him. "Hey, you pig. Stop staring."

His grin only got wider. "Sorry, I can't help myself." He stood and walked over to a shelf that Kensi couldn't see from the kitchen.

She grabbed a couple bottles of water, since they were out of beer, and headed into the living room just as Deeks was putting a dvd into his dvd player. "What are you putting in?" She asked. Before Deeks could answer, she heard the opening song to the movie National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.

"Uh..." Deeks trailed off as she cut in.

"Seriously?" She asked, giving him a quick glare. "You do know that it's barely fall right? We have months until Christmas."

"I know." He answered. "I just thought it would be nice to be able to laugh again, so I thought about a few movies that really made me laugh and put one in."

She smiled, happy that he wanted to laugh again. "Ok, but I'm not sure if I can watch a Christmas movie without cookies and eggnog."

Quickly, Deeks hit pause on the DVD remote. "Hold that thought." He jumped up and walked to the kitchen. He rummaged in the cabinets and through the fridge. Kensi thought she saw the blender on the counter, but then he stood, blocking her view.

"What are you doing in there?" She asked curiously. After some time, she heard the blender going. That got Monty's attention and he came running out of the bedroom. He begged at Deeks feet, but he just ignored the dog.

Deeks walked out of the kitchen with a proud grin on his face several minutes later. In each hand was a Moose Mug, just like Clark Griswald's. "Here you go, Princess. Sorry I don't have any cookies." She was right, he really did need to go to the store. He had very little food in his apartment. Once he was seated on the couch beside her, he finally gave Monty a little affection, petting him behind the ears.

Kensi took the mug. "Did you make eggnog?" She took a sip and it tasted perfect.

"I found a recipe for it when you were in Afghanistan and decided to try it." He explained before taking a sip from his mug. He set it on the coffee table, taking up the remote instead. He restarted the movie and sat back.

Kensi took another sip and leaned into him, resting her head against him. "It's perfect." She said. They finished that movie and moved on to The Princess Bride. She was happy to see Deeks laughing and smiling again.

* * *

><p>Kensi started back at work and was almost afraid to leave Deeks alone. Part of her thought back to Jack and how he had left her abruptly and deep down, she was worried that Deeks might do the same. He seemed to be getting better though, so she hoped that wouldn't be the case. No, she knew that wouldn't be the case. He'd never leave her like that, at least that's what she kept telling herself while she was at work.<p>

Nate had to get back to his patients on the East coast. He made sure that Deeks would be ok if he left and left Deeks with the number of a friend who lived in LA in case he still needed to talk to someone. He encouraged him to open up to Kensi and his family at Osp though. They were all eager and willing to help.

Deeks had several visits from his 'family' while he was recovering. Nell had returned from visiting family out of state only a few days after Deeks' case ended. She and Eric had both made sure to visit him and make sure he was doing ok. Sam and Callen gave him a good lecture on signing those damn agent papers every time they stopped by. He hadn't a clue how they knew about them, but told them he'd consider it. Hetty even made a visit to his apartment and he was glad that this time she hadn't startled him like she did during her last visit. This time, she knocked and used the front door. Hetty told him that they were able to find several of Taking Innocence's subscribers and even figure out who some of the unknown victims were that were shown in various pictures and videos on the website. The LAPD made a lot of arrests after getting Richard and shutting down the site.

Over the weeks, Deeks muscles stopped aching. His ribs and nose took a bit longer to heal than his muscles, but they were feeling quite a bit better now. He was eagerly waiting for Kensi to get home. He wanted to talk to her. He had some things he wanted to say to her, some things that he thought she needed to know as they went forward in their relationship.

Kensi entered the apartment after a long day of case work. She was aching, after tackling a suspect and rolling down an embankment on the side of the road. She wasn't in the mood for anything but a warm shower, some food, and a little bit of time snuggled up on the couch in the arms of the man she loved. Monty greeted her as she entered and she pat his head affectionately. Deeks was sitting at the table on the other side of the room waiting for her. He had a look on his face and Kensi immediately thought something must be wrong.

"Deeks?" She thought maybe today had been a bad day for him, though he seemed to be working things out after things with his LAPD case had settled down. He was even getting ready to come back to work, granted he would be on limited duty...mostly desk work. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Princess." He replied, letting out a soft grin. "There's just something I need to talk to you about."

Ok, that worried her. She walked to the table and sat down across from him. "Is it about us?" Oh no, he better not be having second thoughts about their relationship. She wasn't sure she could take it if that were the case.

"No, not really. It's more about me." He explained.

"Ok." She nodded as relief came over her and urged him to continue.

"I realized over the last few weeks that there are things you don't know about me, things a lot of people don't know about me. These aren't really things I like talking about, but they've made me who I am." He sighed before continuing. "I shot my father when I was eleven years old."

She already knew about Deeks shooting his father. What she didn't know was the why. "I know about that and it doesn't matter to me that you shot him, if that's what your thinking." She replied, taking his hands to steady them when she noticed they were shaking a bit.

Deeks looked away for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "But you don't know why." He said, meeting her gaze again. "He had a shotgun and he was trying to shoot me. He had already beaten my mom to a bloody pulp in the bedroom. She was lying their limp and I couldn't wake her up. He came at me with the shotgun, so I ran into my room where I had a gun that Ray gave me. He came in and shot, but he was too drunk and his aim was way off. He tried to aim again and I panicked. It didn't even register to me that I was pulling the trigger. I don't even remember the bullet hitting his shoulder. I just remember a cop trying to get the gun from me. I remember paramedics wheeling my mom out to an ambulance." He was starting to tear up. "Gordon was a mean drunk. He wasn't really the loving and understanding type. My Mom always made excuses for him, you know...she protected me when she could, but it was still bad. She spent two days in a coma because of him and then when she woke up, I thought things would get better, that the two of us would be happy because Gordon wouldn't be able to hurt us anymore. Things didn't get better. Instead, she blamed me for tearing the family apart. She hated me for what I did. She went into a bad depression and when I was fourteen, I ended up in the system."

"Deeks, I..." Kensi wanted to comfort him, but he cut her off. She had noticed how he only once referred to Gordon as his father.

"Let me finish." He said. She nodded for him to continue. "He always told me I was worthless, I'd never amount to anything. So many kids grow up to be just like their parents and when I got older and started thinking about my future, I knew I didn't want to be anything like them, especially Gordon. I got into trouble with Ray a few times in high school, but I decided that I was gonna put the past behind me and focus on being the kind of man that Gordon wasn't. I was gonna find my little slice of happiness. That's why this case was so hard. Being Danny Briggs and doing the things he did, made me think of _him_. I felt just like him. Hell, I felt like I was worse than him. Richard was a sober version of my Dad. I fought against every urge in me to strangle him and protect his kids because I had to keep my cover and figure out where he was filming, where his website was run from. It wasn't just his kids in the videos on the website, there were other kids too and it wasn't just about saving his kids."

"I don't know what that must have been like." Kensi replied. She pulled at his hands. "Come, sit with me on the couch." He followed her reluctantly, since he wasn't really sure he was done talking yet. She gestured for him to sit and then patted her lap. "Lay down." He laid his head in her lap and felt her hand gently stroking his hair. "You're a great person Deeks. You're nothing like your father. Danny Briggs was just a cover. You're nothing like him either. And I love _you_, Marty Deeks."

Deeks turned his head so he could look up at Kensi. Their eyes met and he smiled. "I love you too, Kensi Marie Blye."

* * *

><p>The next morning, rays of sun filtered into the bedroom as Deeks and Kensi slept. Usually Deeks was up before the sun, off to surf on whatever beach was calling for awesome swells, but he hadn't been surfing in months. His cover wasn't one to surf and after his case, he wasn't allowed to surf because his muscles and ribs had to recover. Curse his damn injuries. He hated not being able to surf, but that didn't keep him from spending a lot of time on the beach watching the surfers, taking in the salty beach air, and listening to the waves crashing against the shore. Something about the beach always put him at ease, whether he was just sitting in the sand or surfing on the water.<p>

Now though, he slept in as long as he could, until of course, the alarm clock on his phone would wake him up. He wanted to be well rested for his first day back at work, even if he was just going to be on desk duty. He had been thinking a lot about returning to work and he'd been thinking a lot about what Sam and Callen had said to him about becoming an agent. He'd been working with NCIS for so long now as a liaison officer that he was starting to feel like a stranger at LAPD. His latest case with LAPD didn't exactly sit well with him and he wasn't rescued by his LAPD team. He had been rescued by his NCIS team, his family. Maybe it was time to finally bid goodbye to LAPD.

His alarm finally went off, though he had already been awake for a few minutes. He reached over to turn it off and smiled when he saw the sun's rays dancing in through the window on Kensi. She had her head rested on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat. He hadn't realized she was awake.

"Hey there partner." She said, greeting him. She lifted her head and turned to face him. She lowered her head towards his, lips meeting lips. She kissed him softly. "Are you ready to get back to work?"

"Yeah, I am." He replied. They both parted and got up from their own sides of the bed. "We should get ready. I wouldn't want to be late on my first day back."

Deeks settled into his desk at work. He glanced around, making sure everything was where it should be and then placed his messenger bag on top, pulling his laptop out of it. He sighed and sat back comfortably in his chair. It felt good to be back.

Kensi had gone off to the gym in search of Sam and Callen. They told her to find them when she brought Deeks back in for his first day. Luckily, they hadn't even changed yet into their workout gear. They followed her back to the bullpen to welcome back their comrade.

"Hey there, Shaggy." Sam said. "Welcome back."

"Hey, thanks man." Deeks replied with a small grin, happy to be back.

"It's good to have you back." Callen added. "It will be even better when we have you back in the field where you belong."

Sam glanced at Kensi. "Yeah, Kens needs her partner back. I don't know how you put up with her all day." He joked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She shot back with an angry glare.

Nell walked up from behind them. "Oh, it could be that you eat like a pig, have terrible taste in music, and drive like a maniac." She said.

"I, what?" Kensi couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Sorry, I over heard Sam complaining to my partner over there." She gestured to Callen. Over the last few weeks, she and G had been partnered while Sam had been partnered with Kensi. It was nice getting out in the field, but she'd be happy to get back in ops with Eric.

Deeks flashed one of his cheeky grins at Kensi and said, "I hate to break it to you, Princess, but they're right."

"Hey, who's side are you on?" Kensi asked, she was feeling a bit annoyed. "Is this pick on Kensi day or something?"

Before anyone could answer, Eric was at the top of the stairs giving one of his usual 'we have a case' whistles.

"Looks like we have a case." Nell glanced at Deeks. "Welcome back Deeks. I promise that as soon as you're cleared for casework, you can have your spot on the team back."

Deeks sighed as they all headed up to ops. He'd give anything to be up there right now, but he couldn't be much help to them on desk duty. It was just as well though, he was hoping to talk to Hetty anyways and he spotted her sitting at her desk with her favorite tea cup in hand. He took in a couple of deep breaths before pushing his chair from his desk and standing. Slowly, he walked over to Hetty.

Hetty saw him coming from a mile away. She could already tell he wanted to talk to her about something. "I'm sorry Mr. Deeks, but I can't clear you for field work unless I get the OK from your doctor." She said, assuming he might be trying to weasel his way into the current case.

He smiled. "Uh no, that's not it."

She set her tea cup gently on her desk. "What can I do for you, Mr. Deeks?"

Nervously, he ran a hand through his hair. "I was just wondering if, if the offer still stood." He pulled out from his back pants pocket a set of folded papers. They were the papers Hetty had given him a few years ago with the offer to become a full agent.

She knew immediately what the papers were. "Have you signed them already?" She inquired.

"Well, no. I wanted to make sure the offer was still there before I signed them." He replied.

"Why don't you have a seat?" She gestured to one of the chairs in front of her desk and he sat. Reaching into her desk she grabbed a special gold pen that had the name of one of her many covers engraved on it. It was the pen she had used when she signed the papers that gave her control of The Mission and her own NCIS team there on the west coast. "Perhaps you should sign them then." She held out the pen.

Deeks took the pen and unfolded the papers. He hesitated before meeting pen to paper. "So this is it? All I have to do is sign them?" He asked curiously.

"Well, that's not quite all. There will be some training you'll need to attend." Hetty explained. "I think we can forgo some of the required training though, since you have plenty of field experience."

"That understandable." Deeks replied. He smiled as he moved the pen to the paper, swiftly putting his signature at the bottom.

Hetty became curious. "So what has changed your mind over the last couple of years?" She wondered if Sam and Callen had anything to do with it. They had mentioned that they were going to lecture Mr. Deeks about becoming an agent.

"I think this last case helped influence my decision." He admitted. "It was a tough one and it wasn't Bates or anyone at LAPD offering to help me get through it, it was all of you. Hell, you were the ones who mounted my rescue mission."

"We take care of our own." Hetty said.

It was as simple as that and Deeks knew very well that it was true. "Yeah, you do."

"I'll get this paper work submitted and have Eric draw up the information needed on your training." Hetty took the papers from Deeks.

"Great." He replied. Now he just had to deal with telling Kensi and the rest of the team.

* * *

><p>It was a long day and Deeks spent most of the day willing it to end. He had a lot of old paperwork to catch up on and there wasn't anything even remotely exciting about that. He wondered what kind of case the team was dealing with. Maybe it was just an easy, arrest a suspect kind of case, but maybe it was something more...like taking down some terrorist who was threatening to blow up half of the city.<p>

Finally, he could hear Sam and Callen coming down the hall into the bullpen. "There's no reason to ever hit a woman." He heard Sam saying. "It's damn good thing they suspended Ray Rice."

"You know me, I'm all about the Lakers. Forget football." He heard Callen reply back.

Then he heard Kensi. "Do you two always have to talk about sports?"

"They're men, of course they do." Nell replied.

Finally they entered the bull pen...Sam and Callen first, followed by Kensi and Nell. "Hey guys." Deeks greeted them. "How was the case?"

"Oh, you didn't miss much." Kensi replied.

"Just Kensi nearly running down an old lady trying to cross the street." Sam blurted out.

"That wasn't an old lady and she should have been using the crosswalk." Kensi argued.

"She had a walker." Callen shot back in Sam's defense.

Deeks glanced at Nell, who had said nothing so far. "Don't look at me. I'm not getting in the middle of this." She said.

"Alright, enough arguing. It think we need to celebrate." He looked over at Deeks. "Drinks are on me."

Deeks looked confused. "What are we celebrating? Kensi running over an old lady?" He asked.

"I didn't run her over and she wasn't an old lady." Kensi snapped.

"Rumor has it that we have a new agent on our hands." Sam replied, ignoring Kensi's comment.

Deeks face went pale. "Wait, what? How...I..." He stammered.

"So, special agent Marty Deeks, you up for drinks?" Kensi asked, excited that he had finally taken the plunge.

"Absolutely." He said, flashing a smile. Hetty must have told them that he signed the papers. He would deal with her later.

"I'll go and get Eric." Nell replied. "He said he wanted to come tonight."

Hetty walked over to her team in the bullpen. "I hope you don't mind me telling the rest of the team." She said to Deeks.

"I was kind of hoping to tell them myself." He replied. He flashed quick grin. "But hey, at least I'm getting free drinks out of it." He and Hetty both let out a soft chuckle.

"Hey, you and I are going to have our own celebration after drinks." Kensi said.

"Oh, now Ms. Blye, I do wish you would leave those discussions for later." Hetty was ok with their relationship, but she wished they would keep some details of it out of the work place.

Deeks flashed Kensi a grin and she giggled a little at the comment. At least she didn't say what she had planned for her personal celebration with Deeks. "Just make sure you're not too rough on me tonight, I'm still healing." He said.

Nell and Eric came down from ops. "We're all ready." She said.

Eric patted Deeks on the back. "Welcome to the team."

"Thanks!" Deeks replied.

A moment later they were all, including Hetty, headed to drinks at a local bar. Deeks would be on desk duty for a few weeks, but as soon as he was all cleared for field work again, he would start his agent training. He couldn't wait to be an agent. The only thing he had left to do was to alert Bates that he was leaving the LAPD and taking his place where he belonged. His mind still wandered to the case, his last LAPD case as it turned out. He still thought about what he had to do and what that little girl had gone through, what both children had gone through. It pained him, but knowing they were in a loving home, getting the help and encouragement they needed, helped a lot. The case would always be there in the back of his mind, but he was getting through it and moving on to a new chapter in his life.

**Thanks for sticking with me through all these chapters. As you can see Marty finally decided to join NCIS. I hope you've enjoyed the story. Feel free to review and let me know your thoughts on it. Thanks!  
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